I’m
not gonna lie, most the time my experiences from aerosol aren’t good or even
funny at the time but in hindsight i always find myself laughing at the crazy
thoughts or situations that happen whilst my lips were wrapped firmly around a canister.
I’m not really sure what started me doing gas but i soon after i got a
reputation for being a gas head, even to this day i get reminded by people
about how bad my behaviour was and how i always had a can hanging out my mewy.
after about 3/4 cans in a day after a while you would start to hallucinate,
basically I’d lose all grip on reality and 90% of the time i would think i was
dying - these would later be known lovingly as "gas attacks" to my
friends who would buy gas cans for me to watch me go crazy. even after a while
my parents clocked on that all the deodorant was running out faster than usual
as i was going through mine, my sisters/brothers/mothers any fuckers i could
get my hands on so my mother took it upon herself to switch everyone in my
family to roll ons!
The
first time i had a gas attack and lost it i remember i was sat near a friend’s
house in an industrial estate i spent a lot of my youth growing up, we were all
sat round sharing a zoot while i was sucking on a can.
"pssssssssssssssssss" the sound of the canister releasing the butane
into my lungs started to sound faint, i jumped up and started to hold my face
because in my mind the flesh on my skull was starting to melt and slip off of
the bone. i clutched on hard to my face and repeatedly shouted
"what?" getting louder as i went on, on the last hollered into the
dark corner of the factories i came round and realised that my face wasn't
actually melting and i was sat with friends. This was not to be the last time i
lost the plot on it, there was a part of me that actually enjoyed the fact that
reality got took away, and I had always been obsessed with the thought of acid
and mushrooms because reality is bleak in all honesty. It didn’t just stop
there, i found myself getting cans of gas on my own and doing it thinking that
maybe i could control it - i was very wrong.
Another
experience i had was when i was on my own in a dog walking field that was next
door to the factories the first lost it experience happened, either way i was
sat doing gas on my own in the middle of this field. I kept feeling a tap on my
back like someone wanted to get my attention, every time i looked round some
annoying character was running away - he looked like someone from the children’s
program ZAPP which i always hated. he was relentless with trying to get my
attention than one time i turned my whole body round instead of just my head
and stood no further than about 5 metres away was this humongous half man half
dog thing, it was the most scariest, muscular animal i can picture to this day
and still feel the fear as i did then. I froze for a second in shock staring at
it, it was in a ready to pounce position and it looked like it was weighing up
its options to which its mouth slowly started to open. Once the mouth was open
i started to see the whole world beginning with the field was being sucked into
his mouth to which i turned and ran for my life, i remember the only thought
that went through my head at the time was my mum and never seeing her again. i
got to the end of the field turned around to see what was happening to see just
an empty field and the world all still in tack, the feel of relief was immense.
One
time when my friend had his house to himself so house parties/all
dayers/basically stayed there the whole time his parents were gone was on the
cards hard, well i know i was hanging from probably pills the night before too.
Well i was sat in the back room of his house, a kitchen/dining room area,
sucking on the canister with my head rested on a table watching the floor...
slowly it started to kick in and my whole imagination took off, from under the
table i believed that the house i was sat in was on scaffolding on wheels. On
those wheels was these little gremlin type of thing, it was actually the same
looking kind of creature that looked like my mate (whose house it was) tattoo
on his arm. Either ways yeah, his house was rolling down the road and i thought
it was getting out of control. I went to stand up to try sort shit out but soon
as i looked up i thought there was a huge wooden spike hanging above my head
and a gremlin was in charge of the rope that kept it above me! i started to shit
myself and all i remember was coming round collapsed on top of an ironing
board, all my friends laughing over me telling me basically was running from
one side of the room to the other like a bull in a china shop knocking
everything over creating as much mess as possible... all i really know is the
spike didn’t land on me...
another night some depraved
behaviour was a gwarn, it was normally once all the drugs had gone we would
draw for the aerosol to try keep what little buzz was left. well on this night
we had nothing, no aerosol, no drugs, not even weed from my memory so we was
left with a stupid decision but my friend had a bottle of aftershave... yeah...
brut... all of who was present had a shot of brut to try keep us fucked for the
night, and boy did it... i have never had my stomach feel so uneasy, summersaults,
my gut was wrenching everyone was looking worse for wear so it was decided that
we should all go for a walk in the fresh air. we were in Whitstable area
walking along the beach near the golf course, as we was coming onto the beach a
police car pulled up from nowhere with them jumping out on us screaming and
shouting! Everyone bar one of my friends made off on toes, i was far too ill
and overweight really to ever try and run from them. straight away they threw
my friend and i into the back of the car arresting us asking who are friends
were and what we were doing, i just remember staring at them like i was hollow
inside turn back into some primitive beast grunting like " err, yeah,
walk... erm... sick"... i think they realised something was up with us and
it wasn’t normal behaviour we was portraying, one stayed with us while the other
gavver went up to the beach to see what was happen (i guess they knew through
why they were called down in the first place). me and my mate was looking at
each other like FUCK... how we gonna get out of this, what the fuck we gonna do
sort of thing and from out of nowhere this gavver comes marching back with two well-known
smack heads from the area who was trying to break into the beach huts. within
minutes of his arrival back me and my mate was dearrested and set off on our
way, the way the gavver looked at us as we hobbled off holding our bellies like
we was about to throw everything we had up if any slight upset, i will never
forget that feeling though of relief, like in the field but least this one was
a real situation!
this
last story i am about to tell is probably the most funniest/stupidest thing i
have done and still haven’t let down, on occasions it has come up and to all
the people who witnessed i am pretty sure none of them will forget it or me any
time in a hurry. I am not sure how many cans i had got through this day but
normally it took 3 to 4 for an outburst of randomness incoherent babble from
me, which this for sure is. I was sat in college class for key notes or some shit;
i was studying music technology with 3 of my close friends in same class. I was
the only one who ever really did gas at these times, especially publicly. the
tutor was banging on and on about notation and it was all written work no Cubase
so most the time i didn’t turn up let alone pay attention, i had a can of gas
slipped up my sleeve of my coat and had the nozzle popping out the top so i
could top myself up as i needed. I was sat pretty much at the back of the class
doing as i do and suddenly starting to drift from reality; i was picturing a
huge blue ball bouncing from the back wall to the front wall and so forth never
touching the ground. It was almost like computer graphics though, no real end
to the ball as if it was tracing (like on acid). then all of a sudden i freak
out, the ceiling starts getting cracks in and looking as if it is about to give
in on the whole class. To this i start to try climbing on top of the table and
all over the computer keyboard with no regard to it "SHIT! WE... GOT...
TOO.... AAHHH... FUCK!" i screamed, but then started to laugh because i couldn’t
get my words out then "get out of here the roofs coming in!" and i
got up and sprinted to the door of the class room. just like when i reached the
end of the field when the world was getting sucked into the things mouth i
turned around and completely snapped out of that reality to meet the eyes of
everyone in that class room, tutor included... my friends had all knew exactly
what had happened and where slyly trying not to crack up, to be honest i felt
like dying that very second. anyway i turn to my tutor and without me saying a
word he said to me "i think you better wait outside", for them
seconds i had to think up a fucking story of what the fuck i just did... and
here was my excuse... after the wait for the head of music to come down to
speak to me as well as my tutor we walked into the office where the interrogation
began. The head of music started telling me he was ex-army he can tell when
people are lying; he knows all about drug abuse all this fucking bollocks to
try fearing me into just spilling my guts. I sat and listened to his big i am speech
to which he asked, "So what happen? Are you on crack?"... the
pause... well... i proceeded to say "as it stands mate, i am not gonna lie
to you... i have done drugs, acid mainly and sometimes no word of lie... i just
lose it... look at my pupils" (knowing butane has no actual signs) to
which he did start checking me over, and where i was talking all the normal
shit i was completely normal he looked baffled as well as my tutor. "we're
gonna have to watch you then Mr Boaler" was all i really remember him
saying after that, after returning to class and everyone on me to what actually
happened asking if i was fucked i carried the whole charade that i lose it. I
left about a week after that, people thought i was strange and treated me
different. I don't blame them...
Me: "delon delay... why do they
say delon delay?"
LK: "who Boaler?"
Me: "THEM" *points to
stars*
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